


sad ☆ premonition

by parallelisme00000



Category: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Despair, Gen, Magical Girls, Original Character Death(s), Puella Magi Madoka Magica Spoilers, Soul Gems (Madoka Magica), Suicide, Witches, bleak vibes, learning the truth about witches, madoka magica OCs, magical girl idols
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26563195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelisme00000/pseuds/parallelisme00000
Summary: in 1980s Japan, a pair of magical girl idols is out hunting witches when one of them suddenly disappears.the one who is left is about the learn the true price of her wish.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi all, thanks for reading.
> 
> the entire story is written and just in the process of editing. it *will* all be posted, i won't leave you hanging.
> 
> i'm new to the site and to writing fanfic so let me know if i should add any tags or anything.

Suddenly there was a labyrinth, and Masami was gone.

Where had that Witch even come from? She hadn’t sensed anything in her Soul Gem before it appeared. And it seemed like it had swallowed up Masami before her.

This was really bad. Masami didn’t seem like she was in a state to be on her own in a labyrinth lately. Ever since her grandmother had passed away, everything had been hard for her. It made perfect sense. Her grandmother was very important to her. Masami had made her wish for her, to cure the cancer she was suffering from. It gave her several more healthy years. But she had died anyway, in her sleep from heart failure. And in hindsight, of course she had. She was very old, and Masami’s wish didn’t make her immortal. That probably wasn’t even possible to wish for. Kyubey had said some things were impossible even for him. But she wasn’t about to say that to her friend’s face.

Just before this Witch had snuck up on them from nowhere, they had been sitting on a bench after Mariko had finished beating a Witch mostly on her own. She was offering Masami the Grief Seed, and Masami was hesitating to take it, apologizing furiously for how little she had helped. “I’m so sorry, Mariko,” she had said over and over. “It’s just so hard for me to keep up lately. Not just with fighting, with everything. I just keep wondering… what the point of it all has been…”

Mariko had already said it all before- how Masami stopped her grandmother’s suffering, how her death was peaceful. She was ready to say it again. But she knew it wouldn’t help. Poor Masami was grieving hard. She felt especially bad that when her grandmother died, Masami hadn’t even seen her in months.

But Magical Girl work stopped for nothing. Not for grief, not for love, not for concerts, not for finals. The duty of a Magical Girl was to fight forever, whatever may be going on in your life, in return for the miracle you were granted.

Stopping to talk on the bench might have put them off their guard for too long. They probably should have hurried straight home, considering the state Masami was in. But it was too late for regrets. This Witch was here now, and she’d have to beat it and save Masami. 

She sighed as she transformed again. She was tired. 

This Witch’s labyrinth was full of flickering streetlights, tumbleweeds of trash, and plants. Weeds and roots breaking through concrete, reaching for her, trying to strangle her. She swung her throwing weight around, ripping through the roots. They splattered black tarry blood around as they split apart. She dashed forwards, dodging roots and vague shapes made of plastic bags and newspaper, tripping on gravestones poking through the city sidewalk, seeking the Witch so she could get this over with. 

“Pam puru pim puru pamu pom pum!” an unfamiliar voice rang out, and a golden beam of light blasted a feline-shaped mass of garbage in front of her apart. What? Someone else was here?

Mariko turned around to find another Magical Girl she’d never seen before. Her outfit looked like it was from a space cartoon, with antennae and booties. Her weapon looked like a toy ray gun decorated with glittery stars. “Pow! Poof!” She pirouetted nimbly around, blasting apart Familiar after Familiar, giggling while she did it. Already, Mariko felt a little too tired to deal with whoever this was. The girl looked over her shoulder and smiled in Mariko’s direction. “Bad day? Let me help you out! We gotta stick together as Magical Girls, after all!”

Those words reminded her of Masami’s, from when they had first met. “Magical Girls, idols, students… we’re so similar! It would be so great to help each other out with all of those things, as friends.”

What was she doing whining to herself about being tired? How selfish of her. She had to pull herself together, use that willpower that she had wished for, and find her best friend in this Labyrinth. 

The girl in front of her was saying something else. Mariko interrupted her. “On your way in, you didn’t see anyone else, did you?”  
“What? No, I didn’t. What, you get split up from your friend?”  
“I think so.”  
“Oh, that’s the pits! Let me help you out. I’ll handle these dum-dums, and you look around for your friend, okie-dokie?”  
“Um. Okay.”  
She followed the girl with the antennae in the bright red and yellow outfit all around the labyrinth. As the girl blasted reaching roots, lunging dandelions, and Familiars made of litter apart, providing her own sound effects, Mariko focused all her attention on her senses. On listening for Masami’s voice, maybe calling out to her. On feeling for Masami’s magic with her Soul Gem. But she didn’t feel anything.  
What was going on? Was it possible that only she had been sucked up into this labyrinth, and Masami had escaped? She hoped so, but something in her heart told her she was probably wrong. 

“Hey hey! I’m so super sorry to interrupt you, but you look soooo familiar. I really feel like… you look like Ayacchi?” Oh, no. Not this. Not now.  
“Um… no comment.”  
“What? No way!” The girl stopped dead. “Could you really be..?”  
“Keep your wits about you, we’re still in a Labyrinth!” Mariko snapped, hurling her throwing weight at a Familiar jumping in the girl’s direction. After it clobbered the Familiar the handle snapped right back to the palm of her hand as if drawn by a powerful magnet.  
“Oopsie daisy! Babam!” She fired her ray gun at the familiar and it finally fell apart into sad scraps of paper. Obituaries, Mariko noticed suddenly. That was what was printed on those papers. “Let’s keep going! But if you’re really Ayacchi… Oh my god, I can’t believe it! I’m such a big fan, and I look up to you sooooo much! I’m an idol too, you know!”  
“What?”  
“Uh-huh! I’m not super big yet, though. But that’s all gonna change soon, I know it!” All this was really reminding her too much of Masami. Although lately, it seemed like Masami had given up on ever catching her big break. “You see,” the girl continued while blasting her ray gun left and right, “I wished on a falling Kyubey to take control over my own career! No more silly syrupy sweet nothing songs for me, no sir! I’m gonna write my own music… make my own image… I’m gonna take people to a sparkly rainbow paradise of my own imagination with every single thing I make! I’m gonna totally blow their minds!”  
“Really? That’s an interesting wish. Can you write music?” This girl was ruining her ability to focus on searching. She should really tell her to be quiet.  
“You know it! Oops, look out!” She shoved Mariko out of the way of a big woody root growing straight at them, like a physical bolt of lightning. “Take this! Pow pow!” Mariko swung her weight as well, and the root exploded into that tarry black substance she had seen before. “Hee hee! We make a pretty good team! Say, Ayacchi, any sign of your friend?”  
“Don’t call me that.”  
“Oopsie daisy, I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to be rude to you!”  
“But no, I don’t sense her. Maybe she’s not in here after all?”  
“Hmmm… Oops! Zing! Too slow!” She had just blasted another Familiar. “Well, do you wanna leave and look for her? I can totally take care of this Witch on my own! I’m super-duper strong! And it would be such a huge honor to help someone like you out!”  
“You know, I might take you up on that. What’s your name again?”  
“The name’s Junko!” she said, winking and throwing a peace sign up near her eye.  
“Uh, okay. Well, I, uh, really appreciate it… maybe we’ll see each other again?”  
“I sure hope so! Maybe it’ll be on a TV set!” 

And with that, Mariko hurried out of the Labyrinth, dodging attacks, until the nightmarish landscape faded and she was standing on an ordinary city street in the middle of the night. Leaving a Witch like this always felt cowardly, like giving up too easily, the one thing she hated the most. Especially when she knew perfectly well leaving one alive would just let it hurt more people. But the most important thing right now was finding Masami, so she would have to make concessions.


	2. Chapter 2

She finally got back to their house, shutting the door as silently as possible. Sneaking in and out late at night like this had become second nature to her by now. She tiptoed through the house, checking the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, being careful not to wake any of the other girls who lived there. All silent and quiet. No sign of Masami. The last place to look was Masami’s bedroom. She tapped nearly silently on her closed door and then pushed it open. 

The covers on the bed were thrown back. Her stuffed animals’ plastic eyes stared at Mariko blankly. The room was empty and still. Masami not only wasn’t here, she hadn’t been there since they both left to go on a patrol together.

A feeling, clammy and uncomfortable, slowly spread through her, from the tips of her fingers and toes inward.

Something was very, very, incredibly wrong.

But what could she do in the middle of the night like this? 

At the same time, though, how could she wait? If something bad had really happened to Masami, time was of the essence. Masami was an innocent country girl- what if… while Mariko was swept up into that sneaky Witch’s Labyrinth, some no-good lowlife who was prowling the streets at night had snatched her?

She didn’t know. Even as she played that scenario out in her head, she felt like she was grasping at straws. She knew very well that Masami had the same superpowered Magical Girl strength as she did. If anyone ever gave them any trouble, they could punch them out with frightening ease. But she just didn’t know what else to think at this point.

Maybe the best thing she could do at this point was try to reach out to the most seasoned Magical Girl she knew. She wouldn’t be happy at all about being contacted. They weren’t close. But it was all Mariko had for ideas.

Yumi, or as she insisted on calling herself when transformed, Jane Doe.

*

Mariko made her way back to her room. Pretty much everything there was in boxes. In just a day, she was moving out into an apartment on her own for the first time. She was done with school. When fall started, she would be starting university. A new, adult life. A new beginning. And no more needing to sneak out to hunt Witches.

Thankfully, though, her bedside phone wasn’t packed away yet. She dug through her drawer for her little notebook of contacts- cute, neat, meticulously organized, with a little duck character on the front. She looked up Yumi’s number and dialed it. 

After ringing for a while, it went to voicemail. Mariko whispered into the receiver as loud as she dared. “Yumi? It’s Mariko… I’m so sorry to bother you but I think something happened to Masami while we were out on patrol tonight… and I can’t think of who else to ask for help… please pick up the-”  
“Yeah?” Yumi said sharply.  
“Thank god,” Mariko whispered. “Thank god you picked up.”  
“You’ve got some nerve calling this late. You almost gave me a heart attack. And I can barely hear you. Can’t you go to a payphone or something?”  
“But… this is urgent, Yumi. Masami, she… she disappeared and I got swallowed up into a labyrinth…”  
On the other end of the phone, she heard Yumi breathe in sharply.  
“Mariko,” she said firmly. “I think you should get a good night’s rest. I know exactly what’s going on, I’ve seen it before, and it’s… it’s not time sensitive. I think you should go to sleep and call me about all this in the morning.”  
“Um…” It was at least good she knew what was going on, but she still had a creeping panicky feeling about all this.  
“There’s nothing to worry about. Tell your manager you’re sick if you have practice or something. Okay?”  
“Um… all right. Thank you, Yumi-”  
“It’s nothing,” she said, and hung up.


	3. Chapter 3

“What?” Mariko wheezed into the phone. “They… what?”  
“I’m… I’m sorry, Mariko. I know it’s hard to believe. But that’s the reality of life as a Magical Girl. That’s why I’m so harsh with rookies. That’s why we have to fight all the time, and keep our Soul Gems as clean of impurities as possible-”  
“Grief seeds, they… they were… they were girls like us. Every one.”  
“Yeah… they were.”  
“And Masami isn’t coming back.”  
“No, she isn’t. She’s dead, Mariko. She’s gone.”  
“Where’s her… where’s her body?” Even saying the words made her feel hollowed out and numb.  
“It was probably sucked into her Labyrinth when it opened up. If her Witch has been defeated, it’s gone along with the Labyrinth.”  
“It… it… I would say it isn’t fair, but it… I guess I kind of always knew there had to be something, right? In return for what we all got… I kind of knew that couldn’t just be… for free.”  
“Right. I have to go, but please keep a close eye on your Soul Gem, Mariko. Keep it nice and clean. We don’t need any more senseless tragedy. And don’t feel bad about fighting Witches. The girls they once were… there’s nothing left of them in there. Nothing. I need to go to a photoshoot now. I’m sorry I had to tell you all this. Goodbye.”

Mariko sat up in her bed with the phone receiver still in her hand playing the dial tone. She looked at the sun streaming through her sheer pink curtains. 

Ever since she made her wish, in some sense, she’d already been dead.

She held up her hand with the ring on it and turned her palm towards her face. Her pale pink soul gem glimmered at her. It was starting to look a little murky. 

She got up, feeling like a puppet controlling herself, and went to her closet. She pulled her most recent Grief Seed out of the little purse she stashed it in. The same one she offered to Masami before she died. She stared at it. It didn’t shine at all in the pink-tinged sunlight. It was almost like it was absorbing all the light around it. On top of it was the shape of a small flame.

Who was this? Whose remains was she holding? What wish did they trade their life for, in the end?

She used it to clean her soul gem and then tucked it back away. She climbed back into her bed.

Suddenly, she realized something. 

“If her Witch has been defeated, it’s gone along with the Labyrinth.”

Did that girl she met last night, Junko, defeat Masami’s witch? If she didn’t, could she track it down again and find Masami’s body in the Labyrinth?

Even if she just left it in an alleyway until someone found it… Masami’s family loved her so much, and she loved them. They deserved closure. A body so she could have a proper funeral, a proper grave.

But that girl Junko- she really did seem strong, and confident to boot. It was hard for Mariko to believe she really didn’t manage to beat Masami’s witch. Suddenly she felt like she may have made a terrible mistake by leaving her to beat it and not somehow forcing her to retreat. 

But if Junko did beat it… did she still have the Grief Seed? The twisted Soul Gem, all that was left of Masami in this world?

Suddenly it was clear. The only thing Mariko could and should do right now was try and find that girl Junko again.

Maybe… although she felt sick at the thought of speaking to him again, maybe Kyubey could help?

*

Junko was sitting outside a cafe eating an ice cream cone, exactly as Kyubey told her before she told him to get out of her sight. She didn’t have her silly yellow and red space ranger outfit now, but it was definitely her. Mariko walked right up to her, and Junko’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.  
“Wooow, what is this? Is it really you? I didn’t expect to see you again so soon! Do you want an ice cream? I’ll buy you one! I really want to ask you about-”  
“Did you kill that Witch last night?”  
“Huh? Yeah, I did! No problem at all for me!” Of course. Masami’s poor family. They would be wondering forever.  
“Do you have the Grief Seed?”  
“What? I mean… yeah… I can still use it a few more times.”  
“Do you have it with you right now?”  
“Yeah, it’s right here in my purse just in case!”  
“Give it to me.”  
“Huh? Why?”  
“Give it to me right now.”  
“Okay, okay!” She rummaged in her little purse with one hand while holding her ice cream cone with the other. Her purse, Mariko noticed, had so many keychains that they alone must make it heavy. “Sheesh, you’re acting super weird! Are you okay? Maybe... you need it really bad?”  
“I guess you can say that.”  
“Well then, please take it! Just give me a minute to find it… okay, here!” She pulled it out of her bag. A crumpled receipt came with it and fell onto the sidewalk. Mariko took it. It was cool in her hand. Masami, she thought. Masami. “I can’t believe I got to help you out again already! I’m so super honored! You even remembered me, and came to find me! Can I, like, give you my number? We should so totally be friends!”  
“Um, I don’t have time right now, I’m late for, uh, singing lessons. Bye.” She hurried off, Masami’s soul pressing into her palm.


	4. Chapter 4

The thing she had wished for was willpower, perseverance, determination. At a young age, she’d already found her dream. She wanted to stop being so flighty and silly, to apply herself to it one hundred percent. She wanted to be unstoppable.

And it worked. She’d defeated obstacle after obstacle. She’d come so far. She had hit songs. She had fans. She had an entrance letter to a prestigious university. Everything was going perfectly according to plan. There was no way, absolutely no way she could give up now. There was no way she could give up. Her wish had made that impossible.

Soul Gems turn into Grief Seeds when they go completely dark. If she kept her Soul Gem clean, that wouldn’t happen. As long as she continued to fight, continued to strike down ghost after pathetic twisted ghost of a girl who made a wish just like she did, she would keep getting a steady supply of Grief Seeds to keep herself alive. She had fans. She had goals. Fighting as a Magical Girl was a solemn duty. It was impossible for her to stop.

But willpower, determination, perseverance isn’t quite the same as strength. She would continue pushing herself endlessly forward. It was what she’d made herself for. It was what she sold her soul for. It was all she had left.

But underneath that iron will her strength was crumbling bit by bit, day by day.

She was getting tired.

*

It felt surreal to be living on her own. Half her belongings were still in boxes, but here and there, in her scraps of free time, she was unpacking, organizing, putting things where she decided they should be. Having a place all your own felt so adult. It was yet another dream come true. Sometimes it was almost enough to distract her from everything, but then she had to head out and fight Witches again.

She danced. She sang. She smiled. She did interviews. She signed autographs. She posed in photoshoots. She hunted Witches, walking all over the city in the dead of night, slamming her unbreakable throwing weight through dead girl after dead girl. She obsessively checked her Soul Gem’s clarity whenever no one was looking. She’d accrued a pile of Grief Seeds just in case. She kept them in a shoebox under her bed, a sad pile of pointless wishes and final resting places. At the bottom of the pile was Masami’s grief seed, with its tiny two-leaved sprout shape on the top. 

And yet, even if she kept her Soul Gem as clean and pure as possible, somehow every second of every day it felt like she was moving against a hurricane wind. Every motion, every word was harder and harder and harder.

She was getting tired.


	5. Chapter 5

In some Labyrinth somewhere a TV with bony human legs appeared next to Mariko out of nowhere and kicked her off her balance. She yelled and smacked her throwing weight directly into its knees, bringing it down onto the ground with her. On its screen, through the heavy static, she could have sworn she saw a girl’s face screaming.

Get up, she told herself. Keep moving. But she didn't move.

“Mariko??” someone said, and out of nowhere a deafening red bolt of lightning vaporized the TV-shaped familiar. It was Jane Doe. Mariko hadn’t spoken to her in ages. She’d seen her backstage on variety shows sometimes, and they’d nodded and smiled at each other, but neither could bring themselves to say anything. Yumi’s boots with the red spike heels hurried over to her. “What are you doing? Are you hurt?” She grabbed Mariko’s arm and helped her up.  
“Ugh… thank you. I’m fine, that familiar just surprised me. How are you doing on Grief Seeds? Do you need this kill?”  
“No, I’m fine. Let’s beat this one together. You seem like you’re having trouble.”  
“I swear I’m not.”  
“Please remember that Labyrinths are dangerous, and that in them beating the Witch and getting out is all that matters. I’m sure you have a lot on your mind but in here you need to let all that go. Come on.”

*

The Labyrinth dissolved, and Yumi grabbed the Grief Seed in her elegantly manicured fingers.  
“I can tell you’re still taking this hard,” she said flatly, looking at her through the masquerade mask of her Magical Girl outfit. Then she transformed back into her street clothes, with a paper face mask covering the other half of her face to try to hide her identity. Being caught by a tabloid while hunting late at night was every famous Magical Girl’s worst fear, and Yumi was very famous.  
“How can I not?” Mariko snapped. “How long have you known about this? How on earth do you handle it?”   
“I found out not long after becoming a Magical Girl, unfortunately,” she said. “What can I say? My wish was stupid. Being a magical girl is unfair. Life is cruel and awful. But.. I have a lot of fans who love me, and a lot of money. When I’m not fighting, my life is comfortable. I even get to travel a lot, and eat a lot of good food.” She shrugged. “At this point that’s enough for me.”  
“Really? Just… food and travel?” Mariko said in disbelief.  
“I mean, I’m not very smart. But it’s my opinion that if you’re looking for more out of life… you might not find it. That’s all I’m saying.”  
“What was your wish, if I can ask?”  
“You can’t ask. But please take care of yourself, Mariko. Your life ending would be a senseless waste. Besides… Didn’t your last single hit number one? You’re achieving your dream, aren’t you?”  
“I think…. I think it was a bad dream.”  
“What?” Yumi furrowed her neatly plucked eyebrows.  
“Yumi…” She wasn’t sure why she was suddenly spilling out these secret doubts that she barely even allowed herself to acknowledge to this girl she wasn’t even close with, but her mouth was saying the words anyway, and they were some of the easiest words she’d said in a long time. “I think it was a bad dream. I think if I hadn’t made my wish… if I hadn’t tried… if I hadn’t become an idol… if I had just stayed at home, with my family, being a good student at my normal school in my normal town… in the end… I might have been happier.”  
“My God, Mariko.” Yumi grimaced. Then she tossed the Grief Seed at her. “Use this right now. Your Soul Gem is tainting so fast it’s scaring me. And don’t think about ‘ifs’ like that ever again if you know what’s good for you. You can’t undo the choices you made, so don’t waste your time on that. I need to get home to bed so I’m not too tired for tomorrow’s concert. Goodbye.” And with that she vanished into the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS A LOT. please use caution when reading.

Mariko continued to do her best to keep her Soul Gem clean, but since spilling her guts to Yumi that one night, it was like a floodgate of impurities had burst inside her. It seemed like it was tainting itself twice as fast as before. And that terrified her. It made her think that no matter how many Grief Seeds she stockpiled, and how careful she was, one day she might slip up and not check for too long, or not have a usable Grief Seed in arm’s reach, and…

One morning, while she mused about that while cleaning her Soul Gem for what felt like the fifth time since dawn broke, she realized what she needed to do. 

She had barely slept the night before, as she had been out all night hunting. Life had become not much more than collecting Grief Seeds to delay what was becoming more and more inevitable, with an endless list of her idol responsibilities getting in the way.

She was supposed to go somewhere soon, but who was she kidding?

The most important thing, the final thing her unbreakable determination was seizing onto, was to die as herself, and not spread any curses.

She turned on the gas on her stove, tucked herself in her closet, and waited. She took out her Soul Gem from her ring and looked into its pale pink glow. It was barely murky.

She knew gas actually didn’t smell like anything, and that the scent of it was a chemical they added so people knew when it was there. She had always thought that they should have picked a chemical for it that smelled worse. Gas actually didn’t smell that bad to her.

The murkiness swirled inside the pale pink of her soul. Somehow, it was hardly growing.

Someone banged on her door. “Mariko! Are you in there? What are you doing? There’s a gas leak somewhere in this building!” It was her manager’s voice. She was probably angry she didn’t show up to her dance practice when she was supposed to.

This might not work, she thought. 

So she put away her Soul Gem, got up, left her closet, turned off the gas, and opened her door in the same clothes she’d been wearing all night.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, “I overslept.”

“Mariko,” her manager said, “the gas leak is in your apartment?? The smell is so strong…” Realization crept across her face. “Mariko, you can’t have!”

“Hmm?” she said, feigning innocence.

“We need to go to my office right away. Come on.” She grabbed Mariko’s arm, and she didn’t resist.

*

She was in trouble. Other people in her building had noticed the gas. The tabloid press was already catching wind of the story. The people in her management company needed damage control, fast. Mariko as Ayacchi was perfect, pure, and innocent, and nothing could be allowed to damage her image. “It was an accident, right?” an executive she had never met said to her, and she nodded silently.

“May I go to the bathroom?” she asked quietly. Everyone in the room was absorbed in an intense discussion she wasn’t really part of, but she thought she saw someone nod, so she just left. She heard her manager yelling something to her as she stepped out the door, but she didn’t stop.

She walked as fast as she could to the stairs and climbed up the roof. This building was only seven stories but seven stories should be enough. 

She pulled out her Soul Gem and held it to her chest sideways, the point facing out. She jumped off the roof facefirst.

“It will hit the ground before I do,” she thought blankly as the sidewalk ran to meet her, “and then I’ll be


	7. CODA

_You’re a magical girl too? I can’t believe it! Magical Girls, idols, students… we’re so similar! It would be so great to help each other out with all of those things, as friends._


End file.
